Curse of the middle child

I feel that I have been treated like an extra. I'm being called for only when I'm needed and cast aside after all the chores are settled. I'm inconspicuous, insignificant. I feel pathetic. Does that always happen to the middle child? Am I literally too short to be seen? Just kidding. My brother loves to play the blaming game and I'm usually the victim (sometimes my mom gets to be the victim). Like this afternoon, I rushed home after work to help my brother locate his graduation certificate. I was rummaging through everywhere for that piece of laminated paper but I couldn't find it. It must be my mom who had thrown it away during spring cleaning! She likes to throw our things away because she assumes that we don't use or need them anymore so I'm suspicious of her. My brother just came out and instruct me to head back to our primary school on monday to retrieve his certificate. I wonder if that's possible. I have to work on monday, which means I have to be up super early to get this done. WHAT THE HELL. To save my parents from trouble, I'm going to do it. I need sympathy. 

It's never black and white

How many in a million are able to have their dreams come true in reality? I'm a dreamer. I dream a lot, wherever I am. Be it during a bus ride or in the toilet. My mind could be anywhere. I imagine myself doing all sorts of things I would really love and hope to do in the present. I need courage. I need luck. It's almost like a mission impossible. I'm not up for it yet. I know it's now or never, I'm still young and have nothing much to lose at an age of 20. I still have time, ample time to figure a way out. It's either I work towards it or let go of it. Sometimes you just have to give up something you love and move on with life. 

How to be positive?

Life has indeed turned sour for my case. Everything around me seems very wrong. The environment, didn't expect myself to end up there. The people, mostly are not the ones I want to spend my time with. At bad times, I've horrible bosses and horrible colleagues at most times who always pretend to be sick so that they can excuse themselves from work. The truth behind is that they haven't recovered from their hangovers. I don't club and I don't drink. I don't find any joy in doing stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not enjoying my life like how a wild youngster should. I guess it's just the way it is. You can say I'm boring which I fervently agree. Nothing else matters besides my family and girlfriends. They are all I need. This couple of weeks have been rough for me and I really miss them a lot. They are one in a million and I'll never find people like them anymore. Things are getting harder for me to accept.